Spicy Peanut Butter and Eggplant Soup

It's a soup! It's a stew! It's the winter-blues slayer!

Excuse my enthusiasm; I live in Montreal, where we spend 8 months of the year shivering. Warming, comforting food is a staple of the regional cuisine. The only way I can hold on to my sanity in the middle of winter is by having something warm, rich and comforting to eat, while I sit at my kitchen counter, wrapped up in layers of hoddies, scarves and thermal socks.

I noticed this recipe in my copy of "Veganomicon" (by the great Isa Chandra Moskowitz and the equally awesome Terry Hope Romero), when I was looking for fall and winter dishes that would make nice lunches to take to work the next day. I am quite the eggplant fan, because they are such a versatile veg: you can throw them in almost any dish and they are always yummy. The idea of combining them with spicy peanut butter was interesting, so I flagged it and waited for the weather to get colder… And now, the evenings are just crisp enough to make a warm bowl of soup seem like the height of sensual pleasure.

Now if you are an eggplant-phobic, like my little brother, you could always substitute them for zucchinis or another squash… But do yourself a favor and get to know eggplants. I understand if a visit to a bad Greek restaurant left you traumatized, but I assure you there is a world of difference between the mushy, greasy things some places try to sell as eggplants and the tender, melt-in-your-mouth pieces you'll simmer in a soup pot for this wintery treat. Don't be afraid, they won't bite. Also, keep in mind that you don't have to peel them; their skin is delicious, and full of lovely vitamins. A cool substitution I totally approve of is switching the regular eggplants for Chinese eggplants. Their amazing purple hue is a bit lost in the soup, but their flavor still shines!

The long list of ingredients and complicated instructions shouldn't intimidate you, as it actually comes together pretty quickly once all the veggies are cut. It's a meal-soup, a bit too thin to be a stew, but so full of lovely pieces of vegetables that it's no ordinary potage. It is also very rich, so please do not read "vegan" as "low-fat" in this case. I like it just by itself, in a cute Asian soup bowl (especially if I get to eat it curled on the couch watching "Dr. Who"… oh, guilty pleasures…), but feel very free to serve it along some jasmine rice, or a simple green salad, dressed with a light and fruity dressing. Also, if you hit a perticularly harsh cold snap, double the spices and/or don't seed your chile before throwing it in the soup; the result will warm you up from the inside out.

Oh, and do not skip the degorging part of cooking with eggplants! Even if modern eggplants are cultivated to be less bitter, the salting process will still reduce the amount of oils and fats absorbed by the veggie. It required a bit of patience, granted, but your waistline will thank you.

1 pound eggplant, chopped in 1/2 inch cubes
1 teaspoon salt
5 large scallions, peeled and sliced very thinly
1/4 cup peanut oil
1 medium yellow onion, diced
1 fresh red chili, seeded and minced
1 inch cube fresh ginger, peeled and minced
1 1/2 teaspoon cumin
1/4 teaspoon Cayenne (optional)
2 teaspoons ground coriander
1/2 teaspoon tumeric
1/3 cup tomato paste
1 (16 ounce) can diced tomatoes, with juice

5 cups water or vegetable broth
1/2 to 3/4 cup creamy peanut butter
1/2 pound green beans, trimmed and cut into 2-inch pieces
2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
Chopped roast peanuts
Whole cilantro leaves

Toss the eggplant cubes with the teaspoon of salt in a colander. Allow to sit for 30 minutes to soften, then gently rinse the eggplant with cold running water and drain. While the eggplant is being brined, chop and mince the other ingredients. I also like to measure out the required quantities of peanut butter, tomato paste and broth, so that when I need to add them, I am not running around.  

Preheat a large stockpot over medium heat. Sauté the scallions in 2 tablespoons of the oil for about 20 minutes, until they are very brown and softened, and slightly caramelized. Scoop the scallions out of the pot and set aside in a medium bowl. Add 1 tablespoon of the oil to the pot and add the eggplant, stirring to coat with the oil. Stir and cook the eggplant for 12 to 15 minutes, until slightly tender. Transfer the eggplant to the bowl with the scallions. Add the remaining oil to the pot and allow it to heat, add the ginger and chili, and fry for 30 seconds. Add the spices, and fry for another 30 seconds, then add the onion. (Another way you can make your life easier is to pre-mix all your spices in a small bowl or plastic container; this way, you only have to pour the contents of your little bowl in the stockpot once your ginger and chile have fried. This is a good trick to keep in mind when you prepare dishes where several spices need to be added at the same time in a hot pan or pot, because going fast is the best way to make massive messes. I don't like those, especially not if I have to pick them up.) Stir and fry until the onion is slightly soft and translucent, 5 to 6 minutes. Add the tomato paste and stir-fry the mixture for another minute. Add the diced tomatoes, water (or stock), eggplant, beans and scallions to the pot. Stir well and  raise the heat to medium-high. Bring to a boil and boil for 5 minutes, then lower the heat and simmer. 

In a separate bowl, stir the peanut butter to incorporate any separated oils. Add a ladleful of hot soup. Stir the peanut butter with the soup until creamy; the peanut butter should be completely emulsified. Scrape the peanut butter mixture into the rest of the simmering soup, stirring to mix. Simmer the soup over medium-low heat, covered, for 35 to 45 minutes, or until the eggplant is very tender. Remove from the heat and stir in the lemon juice. Salt to taste after the soup has cooled for an least half and hour. Serve topped with chopped roast peanuts and cilantro leaves.

This soup will fill the kitchen with a lovely, warm aroma. Prepare it when you need a comforting dose of warmth, or if you plan on ensnaring a lad (or lass) who doesn't like the cold too much! There is about 6 servings in there, and like any good soup, it's delicious reheated. Bring it to lunch and make all your co-workers green with envy!

Chicken Fajitas, Chunky Salsa and Guacamole

It was gray and rainy outside on Friday. I love rain, but giving up summer is never easy for animals who thrives in warm weather... such as myself. It isn't cold yet in Montreal - we actually had a beautiful Thanksgiving weekend. But the days are short enough to keep us on our toes. I actually had to stock up on stockings (that are not fishnets... *sigh*), because wearing skirts in bare legs is no longer an option.

I got home wanting to eat something with a little bit of sunshine in it, so I decided to kiss summer good-bye on a nostalgic note: chicken fajitas is one of my favorite summertime dinner meals. It's delicious and deeply satisfying. Something about those spices, crisp veggies and fresh flavors always brings to my mind the hot, lazy summer evenings that I enjoy oh so much. It also gives me a wonderful homey feeling of sharing, as we pick out stuff straight from the pan onto our plates, and sometimes end up feeding each other the little bits.

Yes, my boyfriend and I have disgustingly cute moments like that. When you are done puking, read on.

I don't know why Mexican food feels so festive to pasty Canadians such as myself, but I generally crave those flavors when I have something to celebrate, even something as silly as the end of the week. And a celebration quickly whipped up is even better - once you have the chopping done, you can have these on the table in a snap. Also, using a grilling pan will let you get rid of a lot of fat from the chicken, so if you use whole wheat tortillas and light sour-cream, you've got yourself a filling and healthy meal, especially if you make your salsa and guacamole yourself.

This recipe, originally found in "Jamie's Food Revolution", is for 2, but can easily be doubled if you have friends over. However, I would advise against serving those to in-laws; no one looks poised eating fajitas...

1 red bell pepper

1 medium red onion

2 chicken breasts

1 tablespoon paprika

1 pinch of ground cumin

2 limes

4 or 6 large whole wheat tortillas

olive oil

sea salt and pepper

Halve and seed the red bell pepper and cut it into thin strips. Peel, halve, and finely slice the onion. Slice the chicken lengthwise into long strips, roughly the size of the pepper strips. Put the bell peppers, the onion and the chicken into a mixing bowl with the paprika and cumin. Squeeze over the juice of one lime, drizzle in olive oil and sprinkle with the salt and pepper. Mix well by hand.

 Let it rest for a few minutes, while preheating a grilling pan on high heat. Use a pair of tongs to put all the pieces of bell pepper, onion and chicken in the pan. Cook for 6 to 8 minutes, until the chicken is golden and cooked through. The pan will be quite hot, so keep moving the pieces around to get lightly chargrilled.

Warm up the tortillas in a dry frying pan, then divide them into serving plates. Put the grilling pan on a heatproof surface on the table, and squeeze more lime juice on the sizzling food. Carefully help yourself straight from the pan. Add salsa, guacamole, sour cream and grated cheese (aged Cheddar and/or Monterrey Jack are the obvious choices) to taste.

For a vegan version, use grilled tofu marinated with the same spices, a bit of olive oil, the juice of 1 lime, and a sprinkling red pepper flakes. Slice the tofu in 4, width-wise, marinate for 1 to 4 hours, flipping the pieces every half hour. Grill them 3 to 4 minutes on each side, to get nice charred marks. Let sit for a minute or 2, then slice into long strips. Grill the veggies separately, so the tofu doesn’t crumble. Omit the sour cream and grated cheese at serving.

I was never a fan of bottled salsa - even the hotter ones still taste bland, boring and, well, bottled. I am a sucker for fresh tomatoes, so I was eager to try the following little recipe, also from "Jamie's Food Revolution". It was such a success that some people who don't like salsa at all told me they loved it. Ha! Home-cooking kicks packaged food's ass once again!

3 cloves of garlic

3 to 5 scallions

1 to 2 fresh red chiles

6 ripe tomatoes

1 small handful of fresh cilantro

2 limes

olive oil

sea salt and pepper

Peel and finely chop the garlic. Trim and finely chop the scallions. Seed the chile and finely chop (1 chile for mild salsa, 2 for hot!). Pick the leaves off the cilantro and chop the leaves and the stalks. Chop the tomatoes is small pieces (or slightly bigger, depending on how chunky you want your salsa). Add all the ingredients to a bowl and add the juice of both limes, and a drizzle of olive oil. Mix well, taste, and adjust seasoning if necessary.

Now this makes a ton of salsa. It keeps in a sealed plastic container in the fridge for 3 or 4 days, so if you are making some for a quiet dinner for two, I recommend using a dozen cherry tomatoes instead of the regular tomatoes, 3 scallions, 1 or 2 garlic cloves and 1/2 a chile. Adjust the lime juice to taste. You'll have enough for your fajita feast, and won't waste any leftovers.

Now, a word of warning about cooking with fresh chile. The first time I made this salsa, I had no idea what I was doing, so I just sliced away, and added everything to my bowl, seeds and all. To make a long story short, my hands and upper lip felt like they were on fire for 2 days. Chiles are hot, ladies and gentlemen: handle them with plastic gloves (I often use simple sandwich bags, as I don't keep plastic gloves around the house... shocker, I know), remove the seeds and white skin from the inside and quickly wash every surface that came into contact with the chiles, hands included. I've heard horror story of people who were careless and rubbed their eyes, or even worse, went to the bathroom after handling fresh chiles unprotected. Trust me, you don't want to do that!

If you buy some chile with an obscure name, say Scottish Bonnets, and you have no idea how hot they are, refer to the Scoville scale (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scoville_scale) before randomly throwing them in your food, and dose according to the info provided by the scale. You may just save yourself an ulcer!

According to the awesome "Veganomicon", the key to a good guac is great avocado. It shouldn't be too mushy or too hard; the fruit should just start to give when pressed gently. Their recipe is perfect for 2, but it is very easy to double or triple according to your needs. In case you live under a rock, a quick reminder to only make as much guacamole as you need, as it doesn't keep and turns brown and unappetizing if not eaten quickly!

1 ripe avocado

1 lime, juiced

1 small yellow onion, minced

Sea salt and ground pepper

Run a knife lengthwise all along the middle of the avocado. Firmly grasp each half and twist to separate the halves. Remove the pit by gently but firmly hacking a chef knife into the pit, gently twisting the knife and pulling it away from the avocado. Separate the peel from the avocado halves and place the flesh in a medium bowl. Drizzle with lime juice, sprinkle with minced onion, salt and pepper. Mash it all up with a fork to the desired consistency.

Add one or more of the following along with the onion, salt and pepper if you feel like pimping up your guac:

3 tablespoons fresh cilantro, chopped

1 ripe tomato, seeded and chopped

1 pinch ground cumin

1 fresh jalapeno chile, seeded and chopped

1 clove garlic, finely chopped

If your friends are as insane as mine and organize Fiesta Fridays when the mood strikes, and you want to bring them some fajitas goodness, here's what you do: double your quantities of chicken and vegetables and put the slices in a large plastic container; add your spices, lime juice and oil, put the lid on and shake vigorously to coat everything. Prepare your salsa, and keep it in the fridge until you are ready to go. Make the guacamole once you get to the party, because it will not take kindly to being carried around in a hot car or subway train. You can use a regular frying pan if you don't have access to a grilling pan; the ravenous masses will still be satisfied.

Serve these with sangria or Mexican beer to give your table an authentic hacienda feeling. A rosé wine, or a dry Spanish or Argentinian red wine would also make a fine complement to the bold paprika, lime and chile flavors.

Kashmiri Masala Tofu

Punk Housewife will go through a little revamping quite soon: my friend and photographer extraordinaire, JD, took some rather brilliant pictures of me in my lovely kitchen. They will soon be on this little blog's background. As fun as it was, please don't imagine I usually cook in such fancy outfits; it's more often jeans and Threadless t-shirt than a cute dress and platform heels. But it was awesome!

Now while he took those pictures, I couldn't just stand there and be pretty, so I got busy and whipped up a lovely Kashmiri Masala tofu for my awesome crew! Although, I confess I did make them chop the onions, for fear that I would ruin my make-up. And need I say I loved watching them do it! I took care of everything else, and JD took great pictures of that, so I will show them off along with the recipe, because they really are beautiful shots. I wish he could take pictures of every meal I cook so that I could post them here, but I imagine his living in my kitchen might upset his fiancée...

I have my gorgeous Russian boyfriend to thank for my appreciation of curry. I can't handle as much spice as he can (freakin' ex-smoker stainless steel taste buds...), but the comforting heat and flavors of a lovely tomato-based curry such as this one are a constant hit with me. I have not yet attempted to make my own home-made curry paste, but it's high on my to-do list. In the meantime, I use Patak's pastes. One little jar contains enough paste to use about 4 times, and I have yet to be disappointed with the different kinds I have tried. Some grocery stores carry them, but if you can't find it at yours, hit a gourmet or Asian market.

Kashmiri Masala literally means "blend of spices from Kashmir"; this paste is mainly chile and garlic. I doubt the tofu is traditionally Indian, but it goes oh so well here, as it absorbs the flavors of the paste in chewy little bites of spicy goodness. The yogurt at the end is optional; it softens the heat without drowning the flavor, and makes the texture creamier. You can either mix it in at the very end like the recipe says, or dollop a spoonful or two on top before serving.

I love this curry recipe because it is very simple and basic; it's my "I-dunno-what-to-cook-but-want-something-tasty-that-can-be-made-with-the-almost-nothing-left-in-the-fridge" solution. And as we are now moving in the colder months of the year, a little spice is never a problem. It is not my spiciest curry, but dose the paste carefully if you don't want to cry while enjoying your plate.

Kashmiri Masala (for 4 to 6):

1 clove garlic, minced
1 yellow onion, diced
1 heaping tablespoon Kashmiri Masala paste
1 pound tofu, pressed and diced or cut into small triangles
1 (14 ounce) can diced tomatoes
3/4 cups water
1 cup plain yogurt

Preheat a large pan over medium heat. Fry the onion and garlic in a glug of olive oil. When the onion is soft and golden, add the curry paste, and mix well so that the onions are coated in the paste. Add tofu, and cook for about 10 minutes, stirring frequently, until the tofu is slightly browned on a few sides. Add the tomatoes, and mix well. Cook for about 5 minutes, until the liquid has reduced a bit. Carefully add the water, give the mixture a good stir, and simmer for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally. Remove from the heat, stir in the yogurt and serve with basmati rice and naan bread.

If you are going to substitute the tofu for chicken or lamb (two delicious alternatives), add the tomatoes when the meat is browned, and simmer until cooked through and tender, so you may need to adjust your simmering time. I would say 25 minutes for chicken, and 30 to 35 minutes for lamb.

As you can see, JD is an amazing photographer! Check out his website http://jdominic.info/! He rocks!

Pad Thai

I am a quintessential city-girl. The country is too quiet and the suburbs scare the beejesus out of me. I love the concrete jungle, the city life, the urban landscapes. Restaurants, bars, shops, cultural effervescence, freaks, geeks, squares and yuppies… And, like most typical city-slickers, Chinese, Thai and Szechuan food are an important part of my diet. What's not to love about it? Spicy, filling, cheap and often available even after the bars are closed, when you really need a snack…

The problem with many of North Americans' favorite Asian take-out foods is that they are as greasy as they are yummy. Not to mention the eternal cliché of those small restaurants' cleanliness standards… I am by no means a germ-phobic person, but even at my punkiest moments, I prefer to eat food that had been prepared in a clean wok. As such, I am always more than happy to treat myself to my favorite Asian food at home, where I can control how many times the stuff is fried, and decide exactly what veggies I get as a side-dish (why always green bell peppers and bok choy, why?!).

I am hooked on the hot, bitter kick of a good Pad Thai, but I was never a fan of throwing eggs in there, so when I found Isa Chandra's Brooklyn Pad Thai recipe in "Vegan with a Vengeance", I could hear the hallelujah chorus in my head. Unlike many cookbook authors out there, Ms. Moskowitz is not afraid to use spices liberally, and one taste of her delicious and absurdly simple sauce had me convinced.

Be sure to have your sauce and all your ingredients ready when you turn the heat on your wok, because once the process is started, it all goes quite fast! I suggest putting all the ingredients that go in the wok at the same time in the same bowl; that way, you can throw a bowlful in at the time without making a mess.

1 pound thick rice noodles - I like medium noodles such as these:

For the sauce:
6 tablespoons tamari
6 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons tomato paste
2 tablespoons Shriracha
1/4 cup rice wine vinegar
3 tablespoons lime juice

For the Pad Thai:
6 tablespoons peanut oil
1 pound tofu, pressed and cut into very small triangles
1 medium red onion, thinly sliced
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 tablespoon minced lemongrass
2 cups bean sprouts
5 to 8 scallions, sliced
2 dried red chili, crumbled
1/2 cup roasted peanuts
1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro
Lime wedges

Prepare the rice noodles according to package instructions. Whisk together the ingredients for the sauce.

Preheat a large wok over moderate-high heat. Pour 2 tablespoons of peanut oil in the wok, and heat, then quickly add the tofu. Stir-fry for 4 to 5 minutes, until the tofu is crispy on the outside.

Remove from wok and set aside. Pour 2 tablespoons of peanut oil in the wok. Add half the red onion, and stir-fry for 30 seconds.

Add half the garlic and half the lemongrass, and stir-fry for another 30 seconds (I like to add mushrooms to my pad thai; if you want to do the same, this is the point at which you should add them for them to have time to get brown and juicy).

Add half of the sauce and when it starts to bubble, add half the noodles.

Cook for 2 minutes, stirring constantly, then add half the tofu, bean sprouts, scallions, chilis and peanuts. Stir for 30 seconds.

Transfer to 2 serving plates and garnish with cilantro and lime wedges. Repeat with the remaining ingredients.

My boyfriend has the steel taste buds of an ex-smoker; if that's your case too (or if you just like it nice and hot), add another tablespoon of Shriracha to the sauce. Also keep in mind that the dried chile can be substituted with 2 tablespoons of chile flakes. Lemongrass can be hard to find; if you have some, great! If you weren't able to find any, the Pad Thai will still be very tasty.

I prefer wider rice noodles to the vermicelli type, but ultimately, the result is the same; they will absorb a good part of the sauce and become tangy and delicious. There should still be a bit of sauce left, to coat your tofu and which ever veggies you feel like trowing in there. I like baby corn (as you can see from the pictures), snow peas, shitake mushrooms and steamed broccoli, for variety. Feel free to substitute the tofu for chicken and/or shrimps if you fancy a more authentic Pad Thai; just make sure they are cooked through!

If you want something more classy than Japanese beer to drink with your Pad Thai, I would recommend a rosé wine that isn't too dry. A little liquid sweetness will balance out the piquant flavors of the Pad Thai beautifully. Cheers!

Omelets or Post-Ska-Show-Life-Saver

Here's a funny story: one gray, mucky Saturday, I felt too tired to do much around the house, and my boyfriend and I had tickets to go see the Real McKenzies and the Planet Smashers that very night. We figured we'd do some grocery shopping the next day, so we just enjoyed our day of farniente, went to our show, danced our hearts out because the bands are absolutely amazing (we discovered an awesome British band called Random Hand; check them out, they will blow your socks off!)... and woke up the next morning ravenously hungry to an almost empty fridge... Curses were mumbled as we made some coffee and tried to figure out what to do to get some food in our alcohol-shocked system. We were out of milk, so muffins and scones were not an option, we had finished the bagels and the bread, we had one lonely mango in the fruit bowl... I looked bleak.

And then, I saw eggs, cherry tomatoes and a small block of cheddar in the fridge. Saved!

Omelets are an amazing morning-after breakfast, as they are easy and quick to prepare,  they will soak up any alcohol left in your belly, and give you energy to get up and do all the important things you need to take care of (you can even make them upon returning from your nightlife adventures, before you pass out into a Jack and Coke stupor). Obviously, they are very versatile, so lazy folks rejoice, as this recipe can be used not only for breakfast, but also for lunch and dinner, when you can't be bothered to spend more than 10 minutes in the kitchen. Unless you want to go very fancy additions, omelets are also cheap, making them a favorite dish of students and broke musicians everywhere.

Allow me a hippie moment to strongly suggest that you encourage free-range and organic farming, and make sure you buy eggs laid by happy hens who run around a bit. They are not really more expensive than the other eggs, and you'll sleep better at night. Oh! And avoid those prepackaged egg mixes like the plague!

The following recipe serves one, so my advice is to not crowd your pan, and make your helpings one at the time if you are not cooking just for yourself. Omelets are good fresh, and in a morning-after haze, social conventions are not as strict as usual. I use a small frying pan (cast iron is great!) and a firm spatula, to fold the omelet over and serve it. Make sure you slice anything you want to add to you omelet before you turn the heat on under your pan, to avoid frustrating accidents and messy results. If you want, you can grate the cheese directly on the omelet as it cooks, but whenever you grate it, use the small holes on a box grater. Big lumps of cheese won't melt well in your eggs.

Here is the basic omelet recipe from Jamie Oliver's "Food Revolution", followed by a few of my favorite ideas to pimp up your omelets. The version I cooked post-ska show was the tomato and basil omelet; I can never get enough of that combination of flavors.

3 large eggs
Sea salt and ground pepper
1 small nub of butter
1 small handful grated Cheddar cheese

Crack the eggs into a mixing bowl with a pinch of salt and pepper, and beat well with a fork. Put a small frying pan on medium-low heat and let it get hot. Add a small pat of butter to the pan; when it has melted and is bubbling, add the eggs and move the pan around so that they spread out evenly. When the omelet begins to cook and firm up, but still has a bit of raw eggs on top, sprinkle the cheese. Using a spatula, ease around the edges of the omelet, then fold it over in half. When it starts to turn golden brown underneath, remove the pan from the heat and slide the omelet on to a plate.

Tomato and basil: Pick the leaves off 2 or 3 sprigs of fresh basil and roughly tear them. Cut a handful of cherry tomatoes in half and add it to a hot frying pan with a bit of butter and a drizzle of olive oil. Fry and toss around for about a minute, then lower the heat to medium and add the basil leaves. Add the eggs and proceed with the recipe.

Mushroom: Roughly chop 2 or 3 nice Portobello mushrooms and add to a hot frying pan with a bit of butter and a drizzle of olive oil. Fry and toss around until golden. Turn the heat down to medium, add the eggs and proceed with the recipe. Not a bad idea to switch the Cheddar for Swiss cheese in this variation.

Hangover: Finely slice 1/2 fresh red chile. Squeeze the meat out of 1 good-quality sausage and crumble it into a hot frying pan, with a tiny drizzle of olive oil. Fry until golden, turn the heat down to medium and add 1/2 teaspoon of crushed fennel seeds, the chile and the eggs. Proceed with the recipe.

I also threw a small handful of chopped scallions to our omelets, along with the tomatoes, to give the flavor a bit more bite. Use your imagination and whatever is left in your fridge to give your omelet that personal touch and turn it into a quick feast. If you are serving it the morning-after, don't forget the huge mug of black coffee and a big glass of orange juice!

P.S. My flipping-of-the-omelet went slightly awry, so this picture shows the genuinely messy, but delicious, breakfast we enjoyed! Presentation is not that relevant when it's just you and a half-asleep significant other...

Baked Cauliflower in Tomato and Olive Sauce... or BRAAAAIIIIINNNNNS!

I love a good psychobilly show! The double-bass, the crazy distorted guitars, the hours of retro hair-styling... awesome! I had been eying this dish in a Jamie Oliver book for a while, and given it's looks, I thought I'd save it for a Halloween party, but seeing the Brains open for the Nekromantix last might made me feel like going: "Braiiiiins! BRAAAAAIIIINS!". Or actually, "cauliflower baked in tomato and olive sauce that really looks like cooked brains!". Not that I know first-hand what cooked brains looks like, but hey, this little Mediterranean veggie-dish is delicious and healthy. I wanted it to look even more like something a zombie would like, so I served the cauliflower with tagliatelle dripping in the cooking sauce. Keep this recipe preciously; it might be the only way you'll be able to distract zombies long enough to escape when they try to take over the world!

1 red onion, peeled and sliced
5 cloves garlic, chopped
1 large head of cauliflower, outer leaves removed and stalk chopped
Olive oil
1 handful of Kalamata olives, pitted
4 anchovy fillets, drained and sliced (optional)
1 handful fresh parsley, leaves and stalks chopped
2 (14 ounce) cans chopped tomatoes
Red wine vinegar

Get a pan large enough for the whole head of cauliflower to fit into. Throw in the onion, garlic, chopped cauliflower stalk and a glug of olive oil to the pan and fry slowly for 10 minutes, until softened and lightly colored. Add the olives, anchovies (if using) and parsley stalks and fry for another couple of minutes. Add the tomatoes and a bit of water to the pan, with a good swig of red wine vinegar. Stir everything together, breaking the tomatoes down with a spoon to make sure there are no big lumps and bring to a boil. Take the cauliflower and gently push it down into the sauce. Half the cauliflower should be in the sauce, half above it. Drizzle with olive oil, put the lid on and it tick over low heat for 50 minutes. To serve, carefully remove the cauliflower and then transfer the sauce to a serving platter, and place the cauliflower on the middle.

Obviously, veganizing this dish is easy as pie: don't use anchovies! I didn't because my boyfriend finds them too salty, and the sauce is tasty enough without them.

To give my dish the ultimate zombie-meal look, I prepared the pasta just before the cauliflower was ready, transferred them to a serving plate, added a ladle of sauce, placed the cauliflower on top and drizzled in more sauce. Let your guests carve their helpings and feed!

Punk Housewife Philosophy or Living Cheap and Healthy

Now, a bit of philosophy.

I am a very strong believer in home-cooked food for several reasons:

a) You know exactly what you put in your mouth! I am perfectly grossed out by processed food ingredients lists. If you can't pronounce it, should you be eating it? I don't think so. I confess I sometimes bring a frozen lunch to work, usually when I burnt the previous night's dinner or if I had company who was too ravenous to leave me anything to put in a Tupperware. But I do not make a habit of it. I like being healthy.

b) You save a lot of money! Pre-made food and restaurant food is expensive stuff, and the quality of it is usually very average. The tastes are generally bland, so you drown it in salt, just so it doesn't taste like cardboard. Again, bad for your health. Cooking fresh stuff with spices will make flavorful dishes for a fraction of what you'll pay at a food-court. And it will actually taste good. Nothing frustrates me more than paying hard-earned cash for crappy food. When you live on a budget, making your own food is a surprisingly satisfying way to save some dough.

c) As far as food goes, nothing is more satisfying than eating a meal you made from scratch. Sure, it's messy, chopping veggies is boring, and cleaning pesto-gunk out of the food processor sucks. But when you sit in front of a plate full of hand-made yumminess, you know it's worth all the burns and cuts. Sharing that food with loved ones triples the satisfaction factor. Trust me. And since practice makes perfect, you can quickly end up too snob to eat anything you haven't made yourself.

d) Do-It-Yourself, maaaaan! Home cooking is so punk rock and bad-ass! Don't let anyone tell you different! You are in charge, and no soulless corporation will have it's dirty hands in your plate. Neh!

 

My disclaimer about meat:

As A. Whitney Brown once said: "I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants." Seriously, I know it can seem politically incorrect to eat meat these days, but I am a conscientious omnivore. That means that when I want to cook meat, I buy it from my local butcher, who only stocks organic meat that isn't injected with antibiotics, hormones, food-colorings and other unspeakable horrors. Sure, the stuff is more expensive than what I could get at a supermarket, but the tastes and textures are much better, and it encourages local economy and free-range, organic farming. Good causes, in my opinion, as the mass meat-farming industry is a gigantic problem that simply shames me. I cannot bring myself to endorse such a barbaric business. But, you can argue, I still eat meat! Yes, I do. I am not proud of some aspects of it, but I do believe in encouraging free-range farming, and I do believe our bodies are built to be omnivorous. I apologize for those offended by that reasoning, and I would like to point out that I often include a veganized version of some dishes, and that I cook a lot of vegetarian and vegan stuff as well; all of which is just as tasty and healthy as the traditional version. Maybe one day I'll decide to banish animal-products from my kitchen and life entirely, but right now, you will find cheese, fish and the occasional steak in my repertoire, along with tofu, chickpeas and soy milk. There should be a little to make everyone happy.

Dieting?!

Maybe I have been blessed with a good metabolism. Maybe it's sheer, dumb luck that I enjoy walking, dancing and biking just for fun. And maybe when I hit 40, I will have a drastic change of mind, work out every day and only eat raw vegetables (unlikely, but never say never). However, right here, right now, I am an advocate of enjoying life intelligently. That means, eating what you want in reasonably-sized portions and being moderate about fat and sugar. And most importantly, learn to enjoy food! Treat it like a pleasure, not a threat to your waistline! It may be my Franco-Italian background, but women should have a few curves here and there. Stick-figures look unhealthy. I am not saying one should eat fettuccine Alfredo every night; but depriving oneself is not a sane way to stay fit. Many recipes I'll share are low-fat (yes, they will be labeled!), and they are just as awesome and satisfying as the others. So please, throw away the psychotic "Skinny Bitch" franchise and get your hands on a copy of "French Women Don't Get Fat". Live a little, but avoid over-indulgence. If you feel like eating a burger for lunch, go ahead; just eat a light dinner like a veggie soup or some steamed fish! Maintaining a healthy weight is as much about using your brain as it is about getting off your couch.

The "O" Word:

The word in question being "organic", of course. Now anyone with a handful of braincells know that it's an umbrella term, generally meaning something along the lines of "grown without pesticides, GMO-free, hasn't been massively dosed with various strange chemicals with unknown side-effects, etc.". But one has to watch out, as the word is oh-so fashionable right now, and can be used as a clever marketing trap. Check the label to make sure it is certified organic by a reliable organism before you shell out a few hard-earned bucks. You can start exploring the issue here: http://www.inspection.gc.ca/english/fssa/orgbio/orgbioe.shtml. Yes, I know it's a government web-site, but use all the available tools to make sure you feed yourself and your loved ones/household pests with stuff that won't make anyone sick.

 

I approach cooking the way a mad scientist looks at their crazy experiment: it's fun and it's fascinating! I love to learn and experiment, so if you have requests or comments, please feel very free to write! I don't claim to be an expert and know better: this is just me, going crazy in my kitchen and getting vaguely hypnotized by the whirling of the food processor. My advice is only based on personal experience, so be punk-rock and think for yourself if you think I am mistaken.